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My name is Phil, and I'm addicted to practicing...
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in pr157's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, July 19th, 2008
11:28 pm
OH NO'S!!!
So, Friday night, I found out the worst news of the week:

Starting in January or 2009, Fantasmic will only be shown on Tuesday and Thursday nights.  I'm so mad!!!  I love the show, and I lean on it for almost all of the extra hours I pick up!.   This isn't just a random rumor that I've heard, it came directly from the Head of Food and Beverage of all of Hollywood Studios.    I know that a couple of you are Cast Members and/or big Disney fans, so I knew it would relate you guys. 

I'm not sure what can be done to prevent it, if anything. .  I really hope something can be done to stop them from doing this.  There is no reason for getting rid of all the other shows, as far as I know.   They're not planning on replacing Fantasmic with anything else, and it's not like the show isn't getting enough of an audience.  I mean, I know that the F&B brings in plenty, plus the Merch ppl, not to mention the extra business brought in by guests who stay in the parks just to see the shows, and then the huge masses of guests that hit all the merchandise locations throughout the park on the way out.

What do you all think?
Tuesday, January 16th, 2007
12:14 am
Suspension and Resolution
Yes, I did just use music theory in my LJ subject line.

Today was quite an extraordinary day.  There was a gamut of emotions expressed, lots of practicing, very little to eat, a convo, and yet.  I'm happy.  Thank You God for all my friends.  They make my day.  I love you all, btw.

K, I'm tired, so I'll talk to you all later!

Current Mood: Strangely happy.
Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007
12:33 am
Yay!  Tonight I officially exceeded my goal earnings from McD's, and I think I'll even break my second earnings goal by Thursday!  wOOt wOOt!

I was able to practice today, but it wasn't as effective as yesterday's since I was also babysitting, and my lips weren't responding their best, but an hour and a half of good practice is still an hour and a half of good practice.  I think I have come up with another theoretically great, yet unrealistic goal for myself:4 1/2 hrs a day, starting as soon as it fits my schedule (hopefully by Thursday).  1 1/2 hrs. of Tone, 1 hr of flute scales, 30 min of picc. scales, 45 of etudes/studies, 45 of repertoire.  Somethin' like that.

Okay, I have to babysit again tomorrow, so I'm off to sleepyland.  G'nite!

Current Mood: content
Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007
12:31 am
Yay Flute
Today was the first day in a long time when I seriously practiced.  Even though all I did was the same tone exercise three times each on flute and piccolo, it was great.  I play it once fortissimo throughout, tastefully smothering every note with vibrato, and a rich harmonic palate.  I was able to cover the full range of both instruments with this one.  The second time I played with an aquarium tone, which basically means pianissimo, with as little harmonics as possible, and a very gentle, yet not weak sound with no vibrato.  This was really hard to do.  I had to stop at high B on flute, and could barely do anything above the high G, because it was really difficult. on piccolo, second octave B down was usually pretty easy, but I had to stop at Eb, and really shouldn't have gone above the aforementioned B, because it was incredibly difficult, and I sounded really bad doing those.  Sometimes I heard myself trying to sneak vibrato back in there, and had to continuously remind myself not to.  The last time I played mezzo forte, with appropriate vibrato, and just a simple, singing tone.  I covered the whole range again  This last one was really nice, because for one I really found a middle ground as far as expression and dynamics go.  I didn't feel like I had to blast it to get a good sound.

I really want to do this same thing everyday for a year, and see where it gets me.  I think I'd be pretty amazing if I hold myself to it.  If I can make it through the next few days doing those exercises, that'll be a good start.  The reason I say that is because I have to watch my sister's kids from 8-12 Tuesday and Wednesday, and then work at McD's from 3-12.  Yeah, that'll be tough, but I have to do it.  I can't let myself slack anymore.  I must say that I am happy with most of the sounds I make, but I still need to be more balanced and dedicated as far as practice goes.  I think I'll be able to practice some while watching the kids, and I'll also have about 2 hrs before work to dedicate to these tone studies. 

Okay, I'm supposed to be sleeping so that I can do all this right now, so I'm gonna go try again.  If I don't call anyone, or chat online, don't worry.  The solitude really is doing me good.  And it'll make the next time I get to see all of you more exciting, since I won't have talked to you in a while.  I'm in a really good mood, so hopefully this sleeping thing will work for me! XD

Current Mood: chipper
Friday, December 29th, 2006
11:51 am
I wonder if He knew everything I would need...
Thank you Melissa for helping me not be so emo today!

Erin: I'm glad Mom is okay, tell her that I wish her the best and to get well soon!  Keep me posted if anything changes too.  I didn't call you this morning because when someone is really stressed, it's usually not kosher to pile more on top, y'know?  Love ya.

Scott, miss you, and hope all is going well.

Okay, so, I have to work with the stupid christian guy again tonight *sigh*.   I really don't like that man at all.  The better I get to know him, the more I dislike him.  Oh well.  If I can keep my mouth shut for like 2 more days, I'll *hopefully* never see him again.  wOOt wOOt!

My sister is taking an online driving test for her husband...under his name!  Highly illegal, but "it was either that or hire a babysitter for 4 hrs, b/c he can't read"  Waah.  I'm still here, remember?  W/e not my life.  I hope they get caught though.

Okay, I'm heading to work, see you all when I see you!
Thursday, December 28th, 2006
2:01 pm
I wonder what God was thinking...
So, I have 7 of my pieces for the Wrife thing picked out.  Here they are:

1.) A piece for solo flute, currently titled 'Groovy', but hopefully that will change
2.) A piece for Jazz band/ensemble thing.
3.) Liberte, for baritone voice and piano.  I have a couple verses finished already, but I want to add more
4.) Retrograde Theme and Variations on a Nursery Rhyme, for violin and piano  think Mary had a little lamb, and started smoking crack, backwards...but cutesier.
5,, 6., and 7.) Fragments of a Symphony.  For full orchestra.  Two are less than 16 measures of material and one is about 1-2 min. of mostly good stuff

Now, the fun part!
I want you guys to leave comments and suggest challenges of mediums you want me to write for, or styles you like, whatever.  I still need 7 more pieces.  I may not use your idea specifically, but that's okay.  Ready, set...GO!
Sunday, December 24th, 2006
9:45 pm
So this is Christmas...
Ya know, sometimes I watch 'Reality TV' and say how horribly distorted it is, comment about the drama, laugh at people's stupidity; and sometimes I watch my loved ones, and am amazed by how similar their actions are the people I see on TV, and it's disturbing.  My sister and her husband want to start a new tradition with their kids of opening one present Christmas Eve, and the rest Christmas morning.  With our family in the past, it's always been all on Christmas Eve.  According to Carol, she and Mom had already talked about this, and Mom suggested 'starting their own family traditions'.  It didn't work.  Mom claims to not have known that, and she ended up hiding in her room and crying because Carol insisted on sticking to her guns.  It hurts my heart, seriously.  I can't wait to get back to school.  January 5th, please hurry.

Anyways, I expect to hear lots of stories of everyone's Christmas celebrations, and lists of what you got and gave!!  I love hearing from you all, so don't hesitate to leave comments, or email, message, call, something.    

I've been trying to input as many CD's as possible on my iTunes, so that I don't have to take all those CD's back to school again.  Very annoying to do, but it'll be worth it, right?

So far, I've worked on that flute piece I mentioned before, but I still need a title, so someone with a brain for computers needs to tell me how to put it on here for people to listen to so you can help me name it.

I'm gonna read the bible before I go to bed tonight.  I need to after tonight.

God, help me.

Current Mood: crappy
Thursday, December 21st, 2006
9:10 am
The McDonalds Chronicles
So here are four of my most interesting McD's experiences, and they all happened yesterday:

A woman pulls up to the window, and hurriedly demands a grilled chicken sandwich.
Me: What type of sandwich would you like?
Her: Grilled!
Me: Grilled Classic, BLT, or ___(whatever the third one is)
Her: You guys don't make 'em in grilled anymore?
Me: We do, but what type of sandwich do you want the chicken on?
Her: Oh, classic's fine.

I then tried to tell here that her total is $11 even at the corner window, but, she pulls, no, flies around to the corner window, and then asks me the total again, but doesn't hear because she's too busy digging out money. She hands me $13, expecting to get change. She was surprised to hear that her total was indeed $11. I returned her change, and she went on her way.

Moral of the Story: Thank you for paying attention to what you're doing.

Next:
A while later, someone pulls up to the ordering box thing. I ask them to give me a minute, because I had to empty some coins in my drawer, but he said he would pull up, even though I didn't need him to. It was three young rednecks. The one in the driver seat begins telling his order, very careful to enunciate, so that I can understand him through the, I dunno, two feet of empty air between us. Then, the fun starts. The guy in the passenger seat speaks up: Is your name Phil?
(Keep in mind, I'm trying to take the drivers order while keeping up with all this)
Me? Yeah, that's my name. What else did you say you wanted?
As I kept trying to finish his order and give his total and all, the passenger pipes up, 'You're hot. Will you go on a date with me?' I knew he was just being stupid, b/c he was a high school redneck out with friends. I declined, saying that it wouldn't go over well. He asked if I had a girlfriend, and I said no. He asked again, and I kept declining. All this time, there had been a guy in the backseat moaning like he was getting some, or at least having some fun by himself in the backseat. The passenger kept asking about a date, and when I told him that it just wouldn't pan out, he asked if I had a boyfriend, to which I coolly replied, 'Yes.' Either they believed me, or they realized that I would play along with their stupid games. Shortly thereafter, I finished their order and they drove off.

Moral of the Story: Don't be stupid. Also, tell the truth, and see how much it throws people off!

A man pulls up to the menu. I begin with the usual, 'Good evening, how may I help you?', and he asks for a McFlurry, with quite a bit of bounce in his voice. I finish the order out, tell him his total, and ask him to pull around. Every time, he responds in an ultra happy voice.
When he gets to the window, I see that he's an overweight older man, and there's a woman in the passenger seat. I comment on his good mood, and he says he's with his new girlfriend. Then I realize that the passenger is young enough to be his granddaughter. Ew. Then, even weirder, he says in a rough pedophile-esque voice, 'I like 'em young and fresh!'
Yeah, weird. Then the girl starts talking about the price of food at Disney; they were probably just getting back from candlelight. We finished up, and right before leaving, the man says 'God bless!'.

Moral of the Story: Don't be a creepy old man, and if you are, don't finish conversations with 'God bless!'

Last (and shortest) one:
A car pulls up to the menu. I ask 'Good evening, how may I help you?'
A woman speaks up:'Is the drive-thru open?'
I'm thinking 'Nope, I just asked to take your order for the fun of it. Duh we're open!'
I couldn't say that though, and I finish up, and ask her to pull around: It was my 7th grade math teacher! Oops, oh well.

Moral of the Story: Just don't be stupid!! Period.

These are my stories. Your total is $5.67 at the corner window. Thank you and have a nice day!
Tuesday, December 19th, 2006
12:55 am
Addicted to you...

I got in 8 hrs. and 5 min. today at McD's.  Yay.  Only 72 more to go to reach my goal of $500 over christmas break, I think.  I'm pretty sure I'll beat that goal though. :)

Work went well, and I practiced a bit today as well.  I also read like 4 more chapters of Matthew.  For those of you I haven't filled in yet, I'm trying to read through as much of the New Testament as possible over the break.

Things I Learned About Myself Over the Semester:
1.) I have little groundin for my religious beliefs beyond "That's what so-and-so told me".
2.) I was hiding behind my flute more than I thought.
3.) I did need to get out of the practice room more, but maybe not as much as I did. ;)
4.) I'm not very firm in any of my beliefs or standards.  I'm very wishy-washy.
5.) Much of my lack of self-esteem is self-inflicted, it seems.

I'll expound on this later, when I'm not falling asleep on the keyboard.  G'nite all.



Current Mood: peaceful
Monday, December 18th, 2006
12:52 pm
This isn't what we sang for the caroling gigs...

<div style="padding:16px;border:4px dotted #fff;text-align:center;background:#ddd;">On the twelfth day of Christmas, <img src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" height=17 width=17><b><a href="http://pr157.livejournal.com">pr157</a></b> sent to me...<div style="background:#fff; margin:8px 8px 16px 8px; padding:8px; color:#000"><div style="color:#0a0; font-weight:bold; padding:2px">Twelve somethings drumming</div><div style="color:#a00; font-weight:bold; padding:2px">Eleven somethings piping</div><div style="color:#0a0; font-weight:bold; padding:2px">Ten somethings a-leaping</div><div style="color:#a00; font-weight:bold; padding:2px">Nine <img src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" height=17 width=17><b class="lj">dessorcrats</b> dancing</div><div style="color:#0a0; font-weight:bold; padding:2px">Eight <img src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" height=17 width=17><b class="lj">theoryoferin</b>s a-milking</div><div style="color:#a00; font-weight:bold; padding:2px">Seven <img src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" height=17 width=17><b class="lj">ayaka_sukunami</b>s a-swimming</div><div style="color:#0a0; font-weight:bold; padding:2px">Six <img src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" height=17 width=17><b class="lj">stripp2010</b>s a-laying</div><div style="color:#fa0; font-weight:bold; font-size:1.5em; padding:2px"><i>Five <img src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" height=17 width=17><b cla-a-a-ass="lj">dctgrl84</b>s</i></div><div style="color:#0a0; font-weight:bold; padding:2px">Four <img src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" height=17 width=17><b class="lj">brittanymonique</b>s</div><div style="color:#a00; font-weight:bold; padding:2px">Three <img src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" height=17 width=17><b class="lj">pr157</b>s</div><div style="color:#0a0; font-weight:bold; padding:2px">Two <img src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" height=17 width=17><b class="lj">asxork</b>s</div><div style="color:#a00; font-weight:bold; padding:2px">...and a LiveJournal meme in a pear tree.</div></div><form action="http://thesurrealist.co.uk/12days" method="get">Get your own <a href="http://thesurrealist.co.uk/12days">Twelve Days</a>:<input type="text" name="user" style="background: #fff url('http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif') no-repeat scroll 0px 1px; padding-left: 18px; color: rgb(0, 0, 204); font-weight: bold;"><input type="submit" value="Generate"></form></div>

Sunday, December 17th, 2006
8:52 pm
Home again, home again, jiggity jig.

Well, I'm home safe and sound.  And bored out of my mind.  The person we had been 'borrowing' wireless from moved away, but I can still pick up some signal, occasionally.  Basically, don't be surprised if I'm either not on aim for days, or if I suddenly disappear during a conversation.   

So far I'm a tad frustrated b/c I don't really want to do anything productive.  I just want to lounge around for all break, or better yet, wake up on Jan. 5 packing up to go home.  I really shouldn't be fussing though.  The more I do, the worse things seem when in reality, I don't have it that bad.  God, thank You for what You've given me.  Help me to be thankful.  

The beach trip was so much fun!  I can't wait until next year, when we get to do it again!!  Hopefully, though, we'll get one more day to lazy around.  I'm so thankful for my amazing group of friends that I have - you guys make my life!  Especially your christmas present to me - that was way too much, but I really really appreciate it.  

I've decided that I'm extremely addicted to my friends.  I think that this break will serve as a good reminder that there are other things in the world besides a few close friends (unfortunately).  I mean, really why wouldn't I want to hang out with you guys all the time?  I really enjoy spending time with you, getting to know you, but I also need to remind myself that I have to work, and keep in touch with family, ya know, do all the things that I don't do when I'm with all of you. :)

The four caroling gigs that I had went really well.  I hope that I'll get to do it again next year. and hopefully more!  I really did learn a lot about being a musician and a performer that I wouldn't have learned in Mrs. J's studio, or under Dr. J's baton.  There's so much role play involved, leaving yourself behind.  It's so important to completely lose oneself in light of making someone else's night, even though you'll never see them again.  There was a little old lady in a wheelchair watching us sing today.  I saw her in the corner of my vision, but didn't really pay her any mind, until, while we were singing The First Noel, and I looked at her, made eye contact.  When I did, this look of almost hope, maybe joy, I really don't know what, brightened her whole persona.  That's what we were there for.  For that little old lady that I'll never see again.  The more I do it, the more I really enjoy performing.  

I'm suddenly very content with living.  Hm.  Funny what thinking can do for you.  Anyways, I have to work tomorrow, 4-12, and practice, hopefully read more of the bible, etc.  

Keeping living, to the fullest.  Never let anything stop you from chasing the dreams that flood your heart.  G'nite all.



Current Mood: placid
Friday, December 8th, 2006
10:02 pm
Christmas Gala 2006!
Today was gala rehearsal. It went absolutely terrible. Mr. Burke doesn't have it all together.
I hung out with Melissa, Sheila, Jenn, and Marianna for over an hour, and it was a lot of fun. We mostly talked about visual art, and it was cool, mostly b/c I never talk about the other art forms besides music. Yeah, I'm tired, so nighty-nite!

Praise God for all things amazing!

Current Mood: thankful
Sunday, December 3rd, 2006
9:31 am
Be my clinging vine...

So...
Yesterday was fairly exciting.  I was in my room getting ready to go eat, around 1 or 2, and Scott calls.  The first thing he says is "So, Phil, how are your sightreading skills?"

Can we say heart attack?  I had just applied for a credit card, so I was already up in a fuss about that, and then he calls to ask if I want to come fill in for the bass at his gig, which was scheduled about 3 hrs. later.  The thought of doing that scared me at first but I figured I'd try and see what happened.  

We read through their humongous stack of music for about 1 1/2 hrs. of drive time, and then we did the gig.  It taught me a lot about what being a performer is really about.  There wasn't time to freak out or really think about what I was really getting myself into - Heck, there wasn't even time to practice!  It was just a "Here you go.  Do it. Now." type thing.  I'm really glad I got to do the gig, and not even because I'll be getting paid (hopefully).  It was an awesome experience as a musician, and as I've already said, a great look into life as a performer.  I hope I get to do that some more, and that I get to do more as a performer.

I was proud of myself for not freaking out too much.  I tried to a couple times on the ride there, and I found myself telling myself that I couldn't do it, but then I thought, "No, this is your job, you get paid to do this, so do it."  I was nervous at the beginning of the first song, but after that, it went fine. 

I called Mrs. J to tell her that I would try to get the flute choir finished today, and she said not to worry about it.  That's a plus.  So now I'm gonna go practice flute, piccolo, piano, AND voice, just to make sure I'm prepared for whatever someone may need me to do!

Thank you God for friends who trust and believe in me, and help me to do my best.

Phil



Current Mood: accomplished
Thursday, November 23rd, 2006
8:08 pm
Time to be Thankful!

ayaka_sukunami - Shanna Banana! Thank you for being cool!  I'm glad I got to know you this semester.

brittanymonique - You rock, and I'm looking forward to your recital, and of course, always remembering fun times like bread ball!!  

dctgrl84-Yay Flute!  Thanks for helping me with english, and for giving me the chance to make fun of someone, and be made fun of, all in good fun!

dessocrats - Mike, I don't know if you read this anymore, but I'm glad I got to know you this semester!

asxork - I have no idea who you are, but yay for you!



Current Mood: Thankful of course!
Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006
8:24 pm
Shenandoah, I long to see you...
Well, I'm at home now.

wooptie-doo.

I didn't get here until 3:15-i9ish, and then I had errands to run, a brother-in-law to pick up, ya' know, the usual. I didn't get practicing until about 9:45, and I didn't practice that long. I do feel, however, that I practiced effectively. I did some long tones, dynamics, and articulation. After that I played through the Reich piece that I want to play for my junior recital and realized that it's very good, for me personally, to have my music picked out, because the pieces are really hard, just for different reasons.

The Stamitz is hard because it's in three movements that have to have their own character, but still in the same style. It's hard because of it's length: 25 minutes of music.

The Reich is definitely the hardest piece I've picked out. It's about 2 hrs. of music shoved into less than 10. I have to be completely consistent every time I learn, record, and play every part. There are more than 10 totally independent parts. I played through the live solo flute part tonight with no repeats. Man, that's hard! By the 3rd page, I could hear a change in my tone, esp. in the low register, from getting tired. That can't happen when I record/perform it. If everything is not my absolute best at all times, the piece will fail.

The Fantasie by Georges Hue is hard because of style and tone color. Mrs. J wants me to play it on Student Recital next semester, but I don't think I'll have time to really explore the French tone color enough to do the piece justice. I'll pick something else to do. She won't like it, but oh well. 

I know that I'll do a fine job on my recital by the normal standards of what people expect on junior recitals, but that's not good enough for me personally.  I know that I could get away with just getting through the pieces, that's not hard.  Heck, I could be able to get through them all be the end of this school year!  I want to really make music, to do what the composer intended, and maybe have a little fun with them at the same time.  I know I've picked my music really early, and that I may still change my mind, but whatever.  For my recitals, I want to be able to show what I can do with my present capabilities, not show what I've worked up to.  I want to be able to control lots of different tone colors, and then show off three of them at my recital.  I guess a better way of saying it is that I want to push myself and my limits as a musician over the next few years, and then pull from those capacities for tone, dynamics, expressiveness, color, articulation, etc.  for the specific pieces I want.  I've already picked the pieces I want because I know that they all contain elements of flute-playing and music that are important to me.  Now I just have to work on expanding my techniques so that when I go to really learn these pieces, I can pull from my experiences and assemble what I need to to achieve the desired results.

Now, if you've just followed my train of thought through all of that convoluted mess, kudos!  If not, talk to me later, and I'll explain.

I am really excited about my recitals right now, and my playing in general. It feels so good to be excited about music again. Earlier in the year, I either couldn't focus on what I needed to, or didn't make myself do what was necessary to succeed. Yes, I regret the mistakes I've made so far this year, but I feel that I"m doing an adequate job picking up and moving on.

Anyways, I did my christmas shopping today, so beware all of you! Actually, I'm really hoping that I got stuff that you guys like: some of you are really hard to shop for!
I plan on having all of them wrapped when I come back to school, so that I don't have to worry about it later. I put Melissa's flute in the shop, and it'll be ready Tuesday. Yay flute.

God, thank You for all my amazing friends, and for giving my the desire to do something great. Help me follow through with all that I want to do, so that I can honor You with my life. I'm sorry I've let myself mess up so much, but give me the strength to carry on. Thank You God.

Current Mood: happy
Wednesday, November 15th, 2006
2:37 pm
Yay Band Day
I'm currently waiting on Scottard to get out of his sax lesson so we can go to dinner.  I ran through all my band day music just a little while ago, and I'm feeling better than I was before, which is always a good sign.  I also sound good, but I'm not practicing right now b/c I don't want my lips to die tonight.

We sang in student recital today.  It was somewhat scary, but not as much as I thought  it would be.  I'm not happy with how it went by any means, but I'm not disappointed either.  I don't really know how to describe how I feel.  I listened to it from Mrs. J's camcorder, and it seemed really out of balance, but I'll have to hear the cd before I'll really know how it went.  I felt like I did really poorly, which makes me not happy, but I was nervous, and it was my first time, so I guess it wasn't too bad.  I'm wondering what Dr. Thomasson really thinks about how we did, and also, I wonder if people are telling me I did a good job because it's the proper thing to do, or if they really mean it.  One person I know of definitely hasn't said anything about it, whcih is fine, b/c if you don't think it went well, then you shouldn't lie about it.

People who get attitudes b/c they're not ready for rehearsals should get shot in the foot, and then be forced to practice for 5 hours straight before they're dropped of at a hospital.  That's what I think.  And people who can't deal with the whole "it's time to be flexible" thing.  It's BAND DAY.  It's supposed to be stressful, and no, everything is not going to go your way.  It's called being a performer.  It's what you do.  Deal with it and make it work.  Don't pitch a fit, k?

Anywho, I'm gonna go now, and do...something, I dunno.

Bye
Monday, November 13th, 2006
6:48 pm
Why not?
(2 Points) My name:
(1 Point) My last name:
(5 Points) Take a stab at my middle name:
(3 Points) Who am I in love with:
(2 Points) Where did we meet:
(2 Points) What kind of car do I drive:
(2 Points) Where do I work:
(3 Points) What am I afraid of:
(2 Points) Do I smoke:
(3 Points) Do I drink:
(2 Points) Do I have any siblings:
(2 Points) How many:
(1 Point) Do I like 'em:
(4 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do:
(2 Points) How many piercings/tattoos do I have:
(3 Points) What's my favorite type of music:
(4 Points) Am I shy or outgoing:
(3 Points) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:
(2 Points) What's my favorite color:
(3 Points) Name something I hate:
(4 Points) Name a talent I have:
(4 Points) What kind of sneakers do I wear:
(4 Points) Do I have any pets:
(2 Points) Who am I dating right now:
(5 Points) How long have I been dating them:
(5 Points) What is the color of my room:(specify which)
(5 Points) What is my worst habit:
(5 Points on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring:
Wednesday, November 1st, 2006
10:11 pm
Not Fair!
I was looking at Facebook, and it baffles me how some people can live such immoral lives, and still get up in the morning and feel good about themselves, while I try to do what's right, and still feel like crap half the time. I guess it's frustrating b/c people say that it matters so much to me b/c God has a 'special purpose' for my life, but isn't that also true for them?
Why does God speak so clearly to some people and not (if at all) to others? I know He's God, and He can do that, but it doesn't help the situation any if you ask me.

God, help me to trust that you're in control, even when I can't see you behind the steering wheel.

Current Mood: frustrated
Saturday, October 28th, 2006
9:20 pm
Some days just get to ya'
Right now I'm frustrated.  I know I need to practice, and I have a fairly good idea of what I need to do, and what I need to practice to get me to where I need to be.  The problem is that when I get in the practice room, I either just don't want to or I get so frustrated with the whole deal.  I know my C# sucks, and I have to put forth more effort on that one note just to get it up to par with the rest, but it makes me so upset that I just don't want to mess with it.  I just want to wake up one day and be like,"Wow, I can play the flute.  Yay for me being amazing", but I also know that's not how it works at all.

I want to be able to just pick up the piccolo and be in tune, balancing to the ensemble, not having to worry all the time about it.  Grr...  I think I'm gonna go try this 'practice' thing one more time.  God, thank you for being in control of everything.  Help me to trust in You.

Current Mood: upset
Tuesday, October 24th, 2006
8:57 am
Eh.

This morning I randomly woke up to my phone beeping at 5:45 and was actually awake.  I don't know why, considering I went to bed after 1 sometime.  I was trying to decide if I should go work out then or wait, but I decided to sleep another hour b/c then I'd have more energy right? No. I woke up at 7-ish, and was feeling wierd, so once again I thought that sleep would make it better, but no.  Now I'm eating a bowl of cereal in my room before heading down to the Music Dept. to play a little before theory.  I know I could've gotten up and gone to work out at 6, been back at 7, practicing by 8, but I wasn't feeling it.  I also know that I'm hideously behind on the 777 thing, but I'm not worried about that either.  I'm really proud of myself for actually doing as much as I have.  

Practice the last few days has gone much better, esp. since I got my flute fixed while I was busy road tripping.  I didn't realize that I was tensing up until there was no more need to.   My practice time has been more effective than it was the first half of the semester. 

I hope Mrs. J will start solidifying recital pieces with me soon.  I know that I'll be doing the Stamitz concerto, but I want to know what else I can/should do b/c the sooner I start working on them, the better I'll have them memorized later. 

I hate disappointing starts to days.  And to add to it all, Brandon just told me he's sick.  Crap.  Thank God anyways.



Current Mood: aww crap...
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